If you’re doing it right, the gifts under the tree this year should raise some eyebrows. A metal detector for dad, a frog-legs cookbook for mom, a kayak and snorkel for the kids. You might get a few quizzical looks when they first rip apart the wrapping paper, but with the help of a new podcast, they’ll discover these are actually gifts to a unique, Old Florida getaway.

The Treasure Coast, comprised of Indian River County, St. Lucie County and Martin County, doesn’t often find itself in the headlines because, well, the locals like it that way. It’s a rare region where visitors won’t fight for a beachfront table at a nice eatery or a sliver of sand on the beach. On the Treasure Coast, there’s still plenty of paradise to go around, but that’s also why the residents have kept this secluded slice of the Sunshine State a secret.

If you don’t love fresh seafood, sunny beaches and wonderful experiences, then don’t come here.

—Joshua Flores

But for the first time, locals are letting visitors in on some of the area’s best-kept secrets thanks to the new “Don’t Come Here” podcast, an audio guide to the Treasure Coast’s greatest hits. Hosted by Joshua Flores, “Don’t Come Here” is a tongue-in-cheek ode to the notable haunts of these three coastal counties, and the episodes may even clue you in on how to use those quirky Christmas gifts lying beneath the tree.

“If you don’t love fresh seafood, sunny beaches and wonderful experiences, then don’t come here,” Flores says. “We’ve got these amazing things that you want to experience but if you don’t like that kind of stuff, if you would rather do the theme parks or if you would rather do the big city hustle and bustle, then yeah, don’t come here. We’re not that kind of place.”

If you decide that this quaint, quiet corner of Florida is for you, then the “Don’t Come Here,” podcast will act as your personal trip planner. Each episode is dedicated to a different aspect of the area, which means it’ll spark itinerary ideas ranging from grubbing on frog legs at a quirky annual Fellsmere festival to planning a date night at one of the region’s best wineries.

Dive into Discovery

The inaugural episode of “Don’t Come Here” introduces the origin story of this historic coast and with it, a peculiar activity that could have you leaving your vacation a whole lot richer: treasure hunting. Most people know that the Treasure Coast derives its name from the fleet of 11 Spanish treasure ships that sank beside St. Lucie in 1715, but not everyone knows that gold and silver still glitter on the shores. If you have your diving certificate, you can join the team of treasure hunters that plunge beneath the surface searching for things that shine. Not a diver? There’s still plenty of prizes to be found on land. Rent a metal detector and sweep the shores of Vero Beach or Fort Pierce—especially after a thunderstorm—for the chance to bring home a doubloon.

If you’re traveling with kids, queue up the second episode of “Don’t Come Here,” a deep dive into the region’s top family friendly attractions. While you cruise to the coast, Flores and a crew of seasoned locals will help you fill your trip with both outdoor adventures and rainy day to-do’s. When the state’s signature sunshine is on display, visit the McKee Botanical Gardens in Vero Beach. Little ones can explore the children’s garden, climb aboard an old pirate ship and until May, trek through the jungle with triceratops and velociraptors while the Dinosaurs Around the World exhibit is there. If an afternoon shower rolls in, the Children’s Museum of the Treasure Coast in Jensen Beach gives curious kids an outlet to explore their passions indoors, whether they’re fixing up a truck in the car care center or caring for pups in the vet clinic.

Sample Something New

Vacation is rarely complete without a beverage or two, and episode four will help you pinpoint all the best breweries, wineries and cideries from Stuart to Fort Pierce. Put in your AirPods and pick up a map as Flores and guests talk you through the Treasure Coast Wine & Ale Trail. Whether you order a pour of the Babycakes Oatmeal Stout from Walking Tree Brewery or you go Coco Loconut for the pineapple cider at Pierced Ciderworks, taste your way through the Treasure Coast via its craft beverage community.

New episodes of the “Don’t Come Here” podcast are released every few weeks, which means you’ll always find new ways to explore the region. Plan a New Year’s trip, and start crossing things off your resolution list when the upcoming episode “Try Something New in 2022” launches. Who knows? It might give you a hankering for some frog legs—a true Treasure Coast delicacy. Watch “Don’t Come Here” on YouTube or stream it on iTunes, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. The best part? It can drown out all the “Are we there yet’s?” coming from the backseat. 

---

Sponsored by Floridastreasurecoast.com